For Empaths, Lightworkers & Healers.
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What Is Gaslighting?
Definition of gaslighting:
Psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one’s emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator.
Gaslighting can be a very effective tool for the abuser to control an individual. It’s done slowly so the victim writes off the event as a one off or oddity and doesn’t realize they are being controlled and manipulated. — Melissa Spino
Gaslighting can happen in any relationship circumstance, including between friends and family members — not just in couple relationships. — Deena Bouknight
This is a classic gaslighting technique — telling victims that others are crazy and lying, and that the gaslighter is the only source for “true” information. It makes victims question their reality … — Stephanie Sarkis
A Gaslighting Story
There’s the typical gaslighting that people — but mostly narcissists, use which is generalized, and it can be about anything.
Recently, I was surprised when I got an increase on a bill that I was told I wouldn’t for at least a couple of years, their response;
“I don’t remember saying that you wouldn’t be charged an increase for that long. These increases happen annually, and you already have a low monthly rate. What I do remember, is that you should have paid more — much more — to begin with. I practically gave it to you. Are you not grateful for that?”
What I paid for it to begin with has nothing to do with a promise of being told I wouldn’t get an increase. And attempting to manipulate me into some space where I should feel SHAME — because I should be grateful, not questioning anything, is not ok.
How dare I even complain, given the gift I got?
WOW. Serious gaslighting.
When the fact of the matter is that he broke his promise, and is claiming amnesia, and at the same time, gaslighting me.
I didn’t forget the deal I got to begin with, and I didn’t need him to remind me. It wasn’t about that. But he made it about that.
Deflect, distract, manipulate. Classic.
The one thing he didn’t do, though, was use my Spirituality — my Love & Light against me.
It’s just not part of his vocabulary, or understanding — or trust me — he would have.
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Spiritual Gaslighting, “What about your Love & Light?”
Hopefully, you know what and how narcissists operate — especially against Empaths — and even if you think you do, I highly recommend that you take a look at the video below.
I give you the exact reason why narcissists are what they are and why they are so attracted to Empaths, and why Empaths are easily drawn into narcissists. And trust me, this is something no one else has brought to the table when it comes to WHY NARCISSISTS are what they are, why they became that way, and why they come after Empaths.
This video explains all of it on an energetic and spiritual level that I promise you the mental health community will never comprehend.
If you’re a healthy Empath, Lightworker, and most definitely a healthy Healer, you’ve done a lot of work on yourself.
You’ve cleared, healed, you take care of yourself, and aside from having the awareness contained in the video above, you are aware of how narcissists do their best to align with Empaths.
Hopefully, you’ve eliminated all narcissists from your life.
But, even if you have — they can pop up at any time, and their M.O. at first is to hide who they really are, usually for at least a couple of months while their act is playing out.
However, I’ve noticed that for many of us spiritually awoken and connected Souls, that in 2022, especially — the time between them landing in our lives, and showing us who they really are has been cut very short, albeit extremely intense timelines.
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The last one that landed in my life only took 24 hours to emerge. That was very quick, and VERY intense because I threw them off their usual playbook by not allowing them to do what they are used to doing-gaslight & manipulate.
But no matter the timeline, they will emerge-like from a dark cave — when their mask comes off and The Puppet Master is fully controlling the narcissist.
When it comes to them dealing with people like me and you, narcissists will try to turn your LOVE & LIGHT against you. Aside from the infinite ways they can gaslight you — this is a very specific way to try to undercut you, and the matter at hand.
To hit you in your softest place — your open heart.
They will attempt to deflect from themselves by attacking how you are — as a spiritually connected person — for sticking to your guidance, being authentic, and actually using your LOVE & LIGHT to see THEIR DARKNESS.
For calling them on their manipulative, or shady ways, and generally having boundaries for yourself — and not letting them get away with gaslighting you.
This is when a toxic person will declare that you’re not being all Spiritual and LOVE & LIGHT. That you’re the one who isn’t “real” because you are swallowing their dark matter, and have a problem with some bullshit they’re trying to sling at you.
It’s a serious issue for LIGHTWORKER’S, EMPATHS & HEALERS to have narcissistic people spiritually gaslighting us, and using our Love & Light against us. As though, because we are any of those things, we should swallow an infinite amount of their narcissistic, manipulative, gaslighting bullshit.
I don’t think so.
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You’re not allowing other’s issues or problems to be your burden — and now you can definitely spot and effectively deal with a narcissist — better than ever.
Sure, sometimes the best course of action is to be quiet, and not engage, and generally leave the scene without a scene — but sometimes we need to engage.
Sometimes we are guided to confront the situation.
Just know that your Love & Light will most likely be used against you.
“Ohhh, look at you! Not so ‘Miss Positive Energy’ now, huh?”
That’s what the last narcissist said to me as I turned my back on her and refused to engage with the monster who possessed her.
Remember this article, and the message above, the next time this happens to you.
Remember that just because you’re YOU, an Empath, Lightworker, a Healer — it doesn’t mean you are a doormat, a pushover, or a babysitter — unless you give them permission by allowing this to go down. So don’t
Don’t ever let someone make you feel bad for having boundaries, or standing up for yourself, your space, your energy, your creations, your time, your spiritual connections. And especially not for your advanced abilities to see exactly who they are, and what’s going on.
They will try to turn and twist their shit around on you. Change the subject, make it about something it’s not — like how you’re not really all LOVE & LIGHT.
Spiritual Gaslighting.
“I thought you were Spiritual, and all Love & Light — and look, you’re not like that at all. You’re so fake, you’re not real. Look at this negative energy that you’re putting on me. If you were really LOVE & LIGHT, you wouldn’t be coming at me like this!” No…
You just assumed because I’m a HEALER, EMPATH, LIGHTWORKER, that I’m A BABYSITTER, A PUSHOVER, and A DOORMAT.
That you can do whatever you want, have a little hissy fit because I reiterate my boundaries, because I remind you of your promises, because I won’t take responsibility for your actions, or inaction.
The truth is that your tough time is your tough time — and not my business to manage because I’m spiritual.
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Being “Love & Light”
I’m not in any way obligated to do, or give any part of myself to anyone — I don’t care who they are — how we may share blood, or how much they paid me to work with them.
I’m not obligated to take gaslighting from anyone — ever.
That I’m weak, and stupid even, that because I talk about and teach how to maintain yourself through positive energy, unity, nature, angels, healing, LOVE & LIGHT, that that means that I will take an infinite amount of bullshit.
It does not.
In fact, it means that I am so in tune with what you’re trying to do — which is to use my Spirituality against me, to try to manipulate me into thinking, feeling that I should take whatever you are attempting to pull on me, that I should be your doormat, a pushover, and or your babysitter because somehow it’s my responsibility to keep you from getting upset — because I’m a healer because I’m your healer, and you should get to blame me for your shit.
Nope. It doesn’t work that way.
How it works here is that no one gets to use my Spirituality, my healing, psychic, Lightworker, Empath abilities to against me.
Just because I am all of those things, doesn’t mean I am going to martyr myself.
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My job, actually being who I am as this spiritual teacher and guide, is to honor The Truth. To honor my energy, my awareness, my knowing, and my position. I am someone who is meant to evoke in others the confidence, balance, stability, and understanding not to push aside what I know is The Truth, what is right, what is fair — what is just.
Sure, many people will not tolerate that. Fine by me. Bye.
Which is what usually happens once they get that version of me. The one that clarifies quick that it is not possible to use my Spirituality against me, to manipulate me. To use my kind, generous and loving heart as a weapon against me.
I will not “keep the peace” and go along with any kind of manipulation a narcissist tries to sling — now more than ever.
Let them scream at me that I’m not positive, that I’m not Love & Light — nothing could be further from the truth about me, or more true about them.
Originally posted on medium.com August,31, 2022